Sick of it
by Etzuko
Summary: Deidara has just moved to a new town, because of his parens. Here a club called Akatsuki force him to join against his will. And that's right, everyone think he's a GIRL!
1. Nobody's listening

**A**** SasoDei fic. T rated. Wow. Well, it might be a little much events and a little too little story, but I'll change that in chapter two. I don't understand why I write things up here. Everybody does, but why? It's not like anyone read****s**** it like you read a fic…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…or Someone else in Naruto. But if I paint my own picture of Kiba, I own him! Gosh I'm smart!**

**Thanx to my beta: Red headed psychopaths wanted**

_**Chapter 1: Nobody's listening**_

Deidara walked home with his bag over a shoulder, yawning after the boring classes of today. Why did he always choose the worst classes and the even worse teachers? Like that idiotic Jiraya- sensei. He was just a sex maniac! Deidara sighed. Why did his family even moved here in the first place? To find a new way to boring their son to death? First day in school and he could already see his funeral coming.

"Hey, bitch!" Deidara turned around and stood suddenly face to face with a green eyed, red haired dude that somehow had managed to sneak up right behind him without getting noticed.

"Bitch, that goes for you, hn." He replied just as rude as the other guy had done.

"… such a girl." The red haired said with and slightly annoyed look upon his face. Deidara lifted an eyebrow.

"Was that the best you could do?" he asked, a little bored. He decided to not spend any more time on this jerk and just started to walk away.

Poff! And the guy stood in front of him again.

"Gh." Deidara stepped involuntary one step back. What did he want? He tried to step left. Then right. Then backwards and forwards. The dude was everywhere! In the end he decided to push him aside and succeeded to get around him. Before he got a hard hit on a nerve so he fainted.

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"I did as you said. She was annoying; you would have still been waiting if I hadn't done it this way!" Deidara heard that green eyed guy saying. He was awake in less than a second.

"What the fuck did you knock me down for?!" he shouted before he noticed that he was acting weird, and that it was nine more people in the room. And all of them looked damned scary.

"Nice work Sasori, you pissed her off!" The only girl in the room complained.

"But Konan, she-" Sasori started but Deidara interrupted him.

"What do you want from me?!"

"Oh, well, nothing really… just want you to join our club. If we are ten we can take over the schoolyard!" The creepiest of them said. And why did he have purple make up along his nose? And why did his shirt have the text Orochimaru? Oh, it was his name. Creepy.

"But why me?"

"Well, no one else is strong enough for this club's needs except you."

"But I started here today!"

"Oh man you're a lucky girl!"

Deidara sighed. Such a freak show school. He hissed at them, and exclaimed: "I'll never join any of your freaks' club!"

Everyone grinned at him with shining eyes, and for the first time in his life Deidara felt really scared.

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"Hey, darling!" Konan said, that was the blue haired girl with a flower upon her head. Everyone still believed that poor Deidara was a girl, even if they had seen him for two weeks now. He still resisted being a part of their club but no one cared about what he thought anyway.

"Hi, hn." He replied and waved a bit with his hand before he felt someone grabbing it. Sasori had sneaked behind him again! He always did that.

"I need to talk to you." He whispered into Dei- san's ear before boosting off. Konan smiled and whispered girly "I think he likes you." and smirked at him.

Deidara looked with surprise in his eyes at her. He was just about asking her if she really thought so or if she was just fooling around when Pein came sneaking from behind and scared the crap out of both of them. Konan shone up and grabbed a hold of his arm.

"Hey darling!" she said with sparkling eyes and a hopeful smile. Pein looked at her a few seconds before lighting up, waved at Deidara and walked away with her. He still couldn't believe those two were a couple, they were from two different worlds! Well, as long as he didn't have to get involved he guessed he had nothing to do with it.

Ever since Sasori and the other had proclaimed him a girl everyone else also thought so. The other students, the teachers… even the headmaster! One thing he was sure of was the he never would agree to wear a skirt, even though everyone in akatsuki told him to do so. That was the only thing that was the different between girls and guys according to him (and two tons of girl magazines).

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When the school bell rang Sasori found Deidara again. He got a grip of his arm and pulled him to a dark corner of the school, where no one ever walked since it had been closed since 1967 – why? Nobody knew.

"I told you I wanted to talk to you, and you made me wait for ya a long time. I hate waiting and making other people wait." He hissed and got a dangerous look upon his face. Deidara walked backwards until he hit a wall behind him. Sasori smashed his hands on each side of Deidara's head, and made Deidara swallow hard.

"I'm sorry, hn." He said and closed his eyes. It felt a little less scary then.

"Well you should be." Sasori said, much calmer than three seconds ago.

"So what did you want to talk about?" he stuttered, still with his eyes shut.

"This."

Deidara felt Sasori's lips swiftly touching his own, only for returning and stay attached. He moved closer so that his body was against the blonde's. His took his hands off the wall and placed one of them on Deidara's back so he could pull him (to Sasori her) even closer, and crossed fingers with the other boy's. Deidara laid his arm around Sasori's and placed his hand on his shoulder, just in time for feeling a tongue enter his mouth. This was his very first kiss, and of some reason, he liked it. (AN: the reason he liked it is because I say so. End of discussion.)

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Then rain kept fell from the sky above. Deidara stared at the phone that rested on his bed in front of him. Should he call him, and talk about yesterday? Or should he just deny the he had liked it? Why did he even bother thinking of things like this, he wasn't a girl! He couldn't possibly become Sasori's girlfriend anyway! Or? He bit his thumb until it started bleed. He felt very annoyed about all this. He heard a low knocking on his door and opened it. His sister Ino stood there and smiled at him.

"What do you want, hn?" He asked sourly.

"I had no idea you'd made friend so fast bro! Only two weeks and you've already got people coming and visiting you on the weekends!" She said and shone like a sun.

"Visiting?" Deidara asked when Sasori poked him from the left. "Argh!"

"Visitor." He said and looked at Deidara as though (?) he just had said something very rude.

"Well I'd better leave you guys alone. I'll be home tomorrow; mom and dad will as well so make dinner yourself bro! See ya!" Ino said and slammed the door as he stepped out from the apartment.

"Bro?" Sasori asked and looked sceptical at Deidara.

"Bro, like as in the word brother." Deidara said calmly. "I've told you like 20 times I'm a boy, hn."

"26 to be exact. But I still don't get why you're lying about it. No one believes you anyway." He said without any expression.

"What the- that's it!" Deidara pulled his shirt off and pointed at his bare thorax. "You see? A guy, hn." He said and looked very content.

Sasori's eyes became as big as plates when Deidara had taken his shirt off, but now his eyes seemed to widen even more in confusion. "So really are a… guy?"

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**Well, something like that. I really need to advance things or my ideas will run out in no time. I know I should work on my other fics, but I wanted to write this fic so badly… and more chapters to it, of course! It won't take long for next chapter to come, a week as the most. ****Until then, I wish you the best luck in ficwriting and ficfinding! Carrots to those who write reviews! **


	2. Pushing away

**All right!**** A new chapter wrote! **

**Gaara is acting OOCx100, but now I decide who**** will act in which way. Poor Gaara. **

**I hope the end is a cliff hanger too… I tried to make it like that… Solely for gaining readers that won't stop reading after three chapters. Then I asked myself: Is this going to be a long fic? You have no plot! You just write whatever that comes up in your mind! And I answered: But it seems to work. People like it. So why would you stop? **

**Disclaimer: Masashi K****ishimoto own Naruto… And since it seems to become an shounen- ai story I don't mind**

**Uncountable thanks to my beta!**

**And this story goes to "Mr. R" for being my newest manga fans friend **

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"So you really are a… guy?"

Deidara got even more annoyed, grabbed Sasori's hand and placed it on his chest, to prove he didn't had something there to hide. Slowly the red-head's breathing became normal, as he realized Deidara had told the truth.

"So the first person I kissed was a…guy." Sasori finally said.

"It's not like I enjoyed it, it was your entire fault, hn."

"Fault? How was it a flaw?"

"Making out with a boy isn't normal if you are a boy yourself, hn."

"It is? Don't be silly. As long as it feels right it is right, isn't it?" Sasori settled and looked at Deidara with a what-the-fuck-are-you-thinking-you-stupid-idiot glance.

"But-" Deidara started when Sasori moved his hand from Deidara's bare chest up to his neck and pulled him close. Then he simply kissed him, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"It feels just as good as when I saw you as a girl." He calmly said and let go of him.

Deidara had no idea how to answer something that embarrassing. But somehow it felt nice hearing those words from Sasori… God, what was he thinking?! Just letting a guy kiss him like that! No way would he let that green eyed beast make his knees quiver! He wasn't going to allow this guy convert him into some gay guy! Unfortunately, he also felt that the thought of himself with Sasori occasionally didn't felt too remote.

"If you stop that I won't kill you. Yet, hn." Deidara hissed and starred at Sasori.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Hey, I didn't know you had a sis. You two have quiet the same stiyle. But of course, you're way cuter." He said and smirked for himself. "And way more sexy."

"I don't wanna know that. Aren't you anything like your siblings then?" He answered, annoyed, and kind of flattered.

"Nope. Nothing alike. Look." Sasori pulled a picture out of his pocket showing two red haired boys. The only difference was that one had blue eyes and tons of make-up around them

"Is THAT your brother? He can't be much younger than you, one year?"

"Ten months. So we are just as old." Sasori answered finding the conversation boring.

"How did that happen?" A confused Deidara asked.

"It isn't that strange. I'm born in January, he in November. No. Big. Deal."

"So he's older than me too, since I'm born in December… He is kind of cute acutally. Compared to you anyway." He said and grinned inside.

'_He deserver__ed__ it for kissing__me__ like that.'_

Sasori thought otherwise.

"Is this some kind of harassing?" Sasori snapped and hustled Deidara so he stood with his back against the door of his room. "If it is, it's sick. My brother isn't any of your businesses!"

"Whaat? He's even older than me, so I don't see your point, hn."

"Well, ohm… well… It's just sick man! Have one and choosing his bro, it is just wrong!"

"I don't want the first one. You just chose me all by yourself, so don't go getting self-pity!"

"What, you don't like me?"

"No I don't!"

Dead silence. Sasori slowly let go of the blonde one and wobbled backwards. His eyes looked so hurt, Deidara barely could stand it.

"Hey… I didn't mean to sadden you but… I'm just being honest."

"No…no…NO!"

Then he ran off in less than a second. With a bad conscience, and no confidence, Deidara closed the door after him. This was just what he wanted, right? He wanted to be a guy and a normal, straight person. Didn't he? But if he did, why do it felt so… crappy inside?

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"Friday morning, sun shines and… Saso-san, you look like the seven bad stuff in Pandora 's Box. What have you done?" Konan wondered and got worried.

"Screw life."

"Aww, common, it can't be that bad! Tell us!"

deadly stare

"Ohm, it might be that bad. Ey Gaara, what happened to your bro?" Pein shouted to Sasori's little brother.

"He got dumped." He said, ignoring Sasori's even deadlier stare.

"Aww, poor thing! By who?" Konan asked. She was just about to hug him, but after seeing him make a fist she decided not to.

"Some bitch who didn't want him. But she apparently thought I was handsome, so she can't be that bad." Gaara said with a big grin, before getting hit in the stomach by his brother.

"What? You told me so yesterday."

"Shut up."

"Wait, Dei-chan did that? Oh no, I thought she liked you!" Konan interrupted and got even more worried.

"Dei-chan my ass. Dei- kun more likely…" Sasori started when Deidara entered the group. Wearing a blue dress. Konan couldn't hide her jealousy for one second.

"Oh my GOD! You look so supercute in that! I wish I could wear a dress, but I'm too skinny! Oh, it's amazing! I thought you hated skirts!"

"I do. But this is… a dress, hn." He didn't understand himself what he was up to. Why did he even try to make the others believe that he was a chick? He had no idea. But something told him he should try to act like a girl as long as possible, for his own safety. "Ohm, Sasori, can I talk with you for a moment?" He asked with a girly voice.

Sasori just stood there studying him. What the fuck was he up to? But how could he resist him when he wore a dress? He looked… so frustrating hot. How had he faked that bra thing anyway? Scary. Then he nodded and walked away with her.

"Is that her? Man, she is sexy!" Gaara said after them, before Itachi punched him ten times harder than his brother had done.

"Don't insult members of our club. If so, I'll kill you."

"I just said that she was hot-" Kisame hit him.

"You said sexy before. Don't lie to us."

"But I was-" Hidan kicked him.

"No stupid explanations!"

"Sorry, I'll just leave-" Pein smashed his head.

"Don't leave while we're talking to you.!"

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"Why are you dressed like a girl?" Sasori asked, obviously disturbed by Deidara's actions.

"Never mind, hn. I just need to talk to you."

"About what? How you're fooling everyone into thinking you're a girl? For faking feelings? For pushing me away…maybe?"

"First if all, I haven't faked any feelings. And for the second, yes, for pushing you away. I was wrong. I think, hn."

"Ha?"

"Well, I can't say it for sure, so I won't mention it… But I want to apologize."

"Apologize? How in hell do you think that would make things change? Why do you play with me like this? Give me a reason Deidara! One reason! One single reason… God damn it, I've only known you for two weeks but… I'm sure of it! I…I hate you god damn it!"

"What?!"

"You! Just, just shut up! Shut up and fuck off! You and your fucking dragqueen show!"

"Hey, cool down!"

"I hate you! For fuck sake! I… I… Fuck it… I…"

Deidara walked to him and hugged him. He felt Sasori crying against his chest and patted his head.

"I think I… dislike you too."

Sasori stopped breathing and pushed him away, still tears dropping from his eyes.

"You do...? DAMN!" He screamed and disappeared on his mysterious way.

"But I… I didn't mean it like that… 'cause you don't hate me… do you?"

**Tbc.**

**Review answering:**

**DrownMySoul – **Gomena! But they are looking so similar with the hair and the bangs and they're blonde and… I'll stop there. I totally forgot to tell how old they are, but… 16-17 I think I'll chose.. yes, sixteen and seventeen, depending of birth month. Thanks for reminding me why I write fics

**MyraHellsing - ** Evil is my only feature, evil laughter I'll write more next time they kiss… but they kissed in this chapter… Well, next time then! But what if they don't forgive each other…crappy situation. And thanks for reviewing!

**Serpent91 – **Thanks for your review Even if you don't know Naruto characters you write so nice reviews,, I'd better start reading HP fics…

**Dieing all alone – **Ooh, another perv I see XD I had that thought for a while… But some persons don't like that kind of stuff, so I'll maybe do something like that later in the story, so don't loose your hope! Thanks for your review!

**Shashuko the Paisley Maiden – **Thanx for your review!

**Sora Keyblader – **I LOVED your review! I was like gasp, people like this that much 0.o? Cool! Please keep reading, I'll keep updating so fast I can!

**red-headed psychopaths wanted – **kick me for writing your answer in the bottom, u deserve to be in the top! I think it's way better when the beta also is a reader, it makes it all feels so much better for my confidence ;) Thanx for reviewing!

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**Kind of fast writing I think. An****d**** I like it too If someone didn't underst****an****d the end Deidara really said that he thought he liked Sasori too… And Sasori… said… well, free choice of understanding. Hope I'll see you all in Chapter three **

**I usually tell something that'll happen in the next chapter, but I have ****no idea at all**** what will happen next… So if you have any ideas or wishes, please tell me **


	3. Breaking the habit

I hate this chapter. Really hate it. All of it. I should just stay to Sasunaru. Goodbye.

---

Slowly, Deidara walked back to the others who were standing around Gaara in a ring, wondering why he was whining (which should be obvious since all of them had kicked him at least once). Konan ran towards him with a curious look, wondering what had happened. Deidara just shook his head and sighed. Gaara whined again and Zetzu kicked him telling him to be quiet.

"Go easy on him. His brother is fucked up, so he must have problems enough for two." Deidara stated.

"It turned out that bad?" Kisame asked.

"I think even worse."

Konan and the others didn't really know what to say. No one in Akatsuki was used to this kind of situation. Whining, Gaara wobbled in pain to Deidara and hugged his shoulders easily.

"I know my brother is fucked up, you didn't do anything wrong whats so ever. And…" He glanced at Kisame. "… sorry if I made it worse by saying that stuff earlier…But admit its was funny-"

"Shut up" Deidara mumbled, starting to realize why everyone thought Gaara was annoying.

"Why are you so emo blondie?"

"I said shut up!" Deidara yelled and, for some reason his mind still hasn't figured out, he kissed him. And in this very moment, Sasori came around the corner. He walked furiously over to them, threw a fist at his brother so hard he fell, and kept walking away. Pein decided to follow.

Konan shook her head, laid an arm around Dei's shoulder and they walked quietly away.

- - -

"Oi, Sasori." Pein said as he sat down next to him on a park bench.

"What do you want Nagato?" Sasori sputtered.

"I'll ignore your rudeness for now. I saw Deidara dump you. She sure has some guts. Most people think you're a serial killer or something." He laughed.

"He's new here. He knows neither me nor my reputation." Sasori replied tiredly.

"She." Pein corrected.

"He." Sasori persisted.

Pein decided not to discuss it further so he changed subject.

"What happened?"

"I accidentally told him I hated him. And he said he disliked me too."

"But you don't hate her, do you?"

Sasori froze. Slowly he turned his head around and starred at him with eyes so full of hatred Pein had to hurry away before they burned a hole through him.

- - -

The following lesson of the day was math. Oh, contemned math. Deidara didn't really understand why he even bothered dragging himself to class when he didn't pay any attention or show any interest at all. He usually spent most of the time watching either Konan folding airplanes, getting pencils thrown on him from Sasori or sleeping. The teacher didn't care a shit about if the students were studying or not. Konan had just finished her 189th airplane when a book came flying, hitting his head so hard he drummed his head on the table. A bit surprised, Deidara looked at Sasori who mimed for him to open the book. Deidara opened it, hoping for it to contain a note with… well, anything from Sasori.

A note with some text on both sides fell out. He read the first side:

"Pein is telling the Akatsuki to join forces after school."

He sighed. So, it wasn't something Sasori had wanted himself. Tired, he flipped the note.

"But don't go there. I want to talk to you."

Deidara turned around and looked at him. He looked sadly at him. He nodded and smirked.

'So, there might still be a chance he doesn't hate me', he thought.

- - -

After school, Sasori walked ahead of Deidara to that empty part of the school. He hesitated for a second and then started to talk.

"I didn't know you liked my brother. You should have told me from the start."

"Sasori… I-"

"I got really depressed when I saw you two."

"…you did?"

"I kind of felt like suicide."

"R-really?"

"I did. But that's not necessary any longer."

"No?"

"No… because I've started dating your sister instead."

"You have --- WHAT?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I know it's short. And badly written. But I don't want to write this anymore. I'm just having a hard time writing this pairing (so why did I began to write it from the beginning?). So…I'll try to wrap it up into a final chapter. Gomena (


	4. threaten

Short chapter comming up!

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Deidara dashed into their apartment and yelled after his sister. Troubled, Ino came walking out repeatedly saying, "chill out!". She put her hands on her hips, took a steady position, leaned forward, and put her lower lip out in a pout.

"What?"

"Cut the crap already sis! Why in hell are you dating him?" Deidara asked and pointed angrily at her.

"Who are you even talking about?! And why would it bother you whom I'm dating? It's my life!" She ended and marched back to her room. Deidara was just about to follow her to get into a big sibling fight over this when the doorbell rang. Annoyed, he opened the door. A red haired person stood outside with a very emo expression on his face.

"Sas..." Deidara started, before swiftly exchange the name to "Gaara?"

Still without saying a word Gaara examined the blonde, and in his eyes, female, person in front of him. Deidara's temper started to calm down, even if so just a little bit.

"Why are you… What…ohm…hey?"

"You're distracting me in my life."

Deidara had no idea what Gaara was trying to say, so he just stood there irresolute mumbling "huh?".

Gaara stepped quickly inside, grabbed his arm and pulled him close. Deidara suddenly became aware of the fact that Gaara was at least 10 cm taller than him, and felt really uncomfortable over his position. He also realized that Gaara looked alike his brother more than he had first thought. He felt the red haired male moving closer and leaned forward. Carefully, they locked lips. Deidara couldn't tell why he hadn't pushed Gaara away as soon as he understood what situation they were heading at. It just seemed… natural.

Deidara heard a shout from behind and broke the kiss truing around to face his sister.

"You! How dare you kiss my boyfriend?!" she screamed furiously.

Gaara starred at the blond little figure that was making sounds. "You sure don't look like her sister."; he stated and hugged Deidara tighter.

"This isn't your boyfriend!" The blond persisted.

Ino walked closer and stared at Gaara.

"And what do you mean by that Sasori?"

Deidara understood what conclusions they both had made and said rapidly:

"This is Gaara, sis. Not Sasori."

"…Oh…" she said and glanced at her brother. "I didn't know you were that way- "she started when Deidara interrupted once again.

"We'll be leaving bye!" he said and pushed Gaara out the door, closing it behind himself.

- - - outside - - -

"What are you doing?" Deidara hissed.

"Taking advantage of my height and strength and using you for my own individual wishes."

"And who in hell gave you that permission?"

"You. Permission through action."

"What! When would that be?"

"You kissed me! Remember?"

"Oh…" Deidara bit his lower lip. He had just wanted to shut Gaara up at that moment, he had no intensions at all with it.

"I don't care what you think. It was a kiss, and it was to me and not my brother. So you're officially mine."

"I don't want that! I'm not even a girl!"

"I told you I don't care. If you simply allow me to be yours, no harm will be done. To anybody."

Deidara just starred at him. Was he serious? Was this really the same guy that so simply had been kicked down by the Akatsuki members? He doubted it.

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Ohm, short… and weird… grins and bad and without any plot

I tried to make Gaara more "Gaara" in this chapter… though he just scary…lol.


	5. Hidden from you

Another kind of short chapter… I promise to update sooner from now on

**Another short chapter… I promise to update sooner from now on! **

**Thanks for all reviews! I love you! **

**This chapter is dedicated to: killerwing x Gaara for a kick in the butt! **

**(I promise, I'll write a longer chapter next time ')**

**And I don't own anything but myself, I know…**

**-- **Chapter 5, Hidden from you --

Sasori couldn't help but stare at Deidara. His blonde object for a denied love was resting his head upon his table, sleeping and snoring. Which itself was a miracle, since the volume in the room was over 100 decibel. He sighed and half hearted wrote some things that probably would come on the next test. He didn't really care, nor could he concentrate. Especially not today, after what his brother had bothered him with saying the very same morning.

-- flashback--

"I went to see Deidara yesterday." Gaara said, giving his brother a deadly stare.

"Oh, really?" Sasori replied, feeling a little ache ain his heart.

"I figured out that he actually is a guy… you're so sick sometimes."

"Then end with him if that's how you feel." Sasori said, hiding the hopefulness in his mind.

"No can do. As long as I can have something you want, I'll keep it."

Sasori froze.

"So you're only dating him in order to hurt me?!"

"More or less. And I made sure he won't leave me for you as well."

"How? What do you mean? What did you do to him?!"

"Don't jump to conclusions Sasori. I just did what need to be done. The rest I leave up to you." Gaara ended and left the room.

"You… you didn't… you didn't fuck him, did you? Oh god no…"

-- end flashback --

Is that why he's so tired now? After spending the night with my – NO! I gotta stop thinking like that. No way would Deidara allow that to happen. Then what did he do to him? He doesn't seem too been beaten up, so he couldn't have hurt him… I've got to talk to him.

The bell rang and most everybody left the classroom, except the sleeping Deidara and Sasori. Sasori walked to Deidara and poked him on the shoulder, waking him up. Tired, Deidara looked up at him, before he startled and jumped one meter backwards, onto Sasori's table. Rubbing the back of his head, he rose quickly. Sasori grabbed his wrist and stopped him from running away.

"What did he do to you? What did he say?" he asked, showing off all the feelings he had in mind.

Deidara saw the worrying, the pain, the wanting for an answer and that love that still hadn't faded away. He turned his face away and stared at the floor. He couldn't talk to Sasori. He couldn't get emotional at this moment. Gaara would definitely do a lot of damage to Sasori if he found out. He couldn't allow that to happen. He had to make sure nothing would happen to the redhead no matter what. That's the part he both loved and hated. He cared for Sasori. He had feelings for him, but it was too late to tell him that now.

"Deidara, tell me. Please, talk me." Sasori pleaded.

"I…I… I can't. I can't tell you."

"Deidara…"

"I'm sorry." He said and broke free.

"Can you break up with your sister for me? I can't be with her. Not as long as you are around…since you probably don't want me around your place either…"

Deidara nodded and walked off. He felt the tears burning in his eyes. He wanted Sasori. He was sure of it, he wanted him so badly. But he couldn't have him.

"Damn you Gaara." he whispered and rubbed the tears away from his eyes.

**I updated… cool I'm sorry it took so long but I really liked this chapter, and I'm proud of it! Reviewers get a new chapter!**

**Next chapter:**

**Akatsuki's real face is shown!**


	6. Not worse than you

Sasori's P

Fuck, it was short again. Gomensaaaai (I love you!)

1000 kisses to my lovely beta! Luv u! (In a platonic way of course)

--Chapter 6, not worse than you--

Sasori's P.O.V.

I had to talk to someone, someone who actually knew about the whole situation. Unfortunately, nobody like that existed. So, I had to tell somebody. Nagato. Who else? So I was sitting on that same bench they had talked on the last time, and I spilled everything to him.

"Well… I'm sure Deidara won't do things with him voluntarily, so I think you're overdoing it. If he really likes you, he'll come to you in the end… Man, I still can't believe it! Are you sure he's a guy?" Pein said and scratched his hair.

"No shit Shakespeare." I replied and lit a cig. "But if I quit… What says he'll know how I feel unless I keep showing it?" Nagato took the cig and put it in his mouth.

"Well… There's no guarantee for that of course, but right now you might just pain him more."

Pissed, I stole the cig back, and grunted.

"If you love him, let him come to you. Don't push it. And if he now loves you brother, leave them alone." He added and left for his date with Konan. "Don't screw it up Sasori."

"Fuck off." I replied and buried my face in my hands.

--

God, I couldn't stand it.

'_Don't rush it. Calm down. Let him go. Lose him. Forget him. No way can I do that! I've got to fight for him, and win. I have t__o win.'_

In the end I knew I had to face him sometime anyway, so I simply went to his home. His sister wasn't too happy to see me. Well, she was really pissed and she slapped me really hard and shouted at me. It took some time but then she finally let me in. I walked quietly into his room. He was deep concentrated with something on his computer, and didn't noticed me first, until I placed my hands on his shoulders and turned his chair around. He just starred at me with fear before breathing out.

"Sasori…" he startled again. "Sasori!" he shook his head and told me to get out, to get away. Leave quickly. I got a tighter grip and sat down in his lap, not letting go of his eyes.

"Now I've got you, so you better listen to me." He was frozen below me. I placed my forehead against his and cupped his face in my hands.

"I wanna know. How can I steal you back? I know you never wanted me in the first place… But I'm not a person who gives up that easily."

He started to shiver. Was I frightening him?

He turned his eyes away from me and took a stuttering breath. He asked me to leave again. I slid my arms around his neck and kissed him. I carefully bruised my tongue against his upper lip, and then kissed him again. He placed his shaky arms around me and kissed me back. I was really surprised over that, honestly, since he had wanted me to disappear so badly just a moment ago. I leaned closer to him and attached our mouths fully. His eyes were dripping. I suppose I should say he was crying, but he wasn't. His eyes were just simply overflowed with tears. He stabbed his tongue into my mouth and he licked the roof in my mouth. Content I slipped my tongue into his mouth as well and enjoyed myself with his taste. I was in heaven. But his tears started to bother me. Even if it wasn't crying, something was wrong.

I pulled away, but still held my arms around him tightly.

"Answer me." I asked huffing and I could tell my eyes were pleading.

He sobbed and buried his face on my shoulder.

"I want to be yours. I promise, I do. But it's impossible." Now he cried.

"Why?"

"Your brother… He-" I didn't heard anything more. His words were drowned in sobs and he pushed me off him. I knew. He'd choose Gaara over me. I was unwanted. I rose and stroke the back of my hand against his cheek. I loved him. I loved him so I'd leave him alone. I tried to smile but I felt too empty, my face didn't shift at all. Unwillingly my fingers left his cheek and I walked home.

-- -- --

Deidara's P.O.V

I didn't want to go to school today. I didn't want to face any of the brothers. Or, I maybe wanted to see Gaara so I could hit him as hard as I could. Maybe even break off the hostage he had on me. If I did, I could look Sasori in the eyes again. But what if his brother would do something horrible to him? Well, Sasori was probably stronger, and the Akatsuki would easily beat him down of course. But there was guarantee for that. And if he gets killed because of me, I wouldn't stand living on by myself. I can't live like this. Fuck, if I just hadn't kissed him! I didn't even mean to!

I muttered curses to myself and my stupidity when somebody grabbed my arm and pulled me into a bathroom. _Please not Gaara, please not Sasori, please no red haired person at all!_ I prayed as I turned around.

"Konan! Your hair is blue!" I shouted happily and hugged her.

"Whaaaa?! You haven't noticed that before? Anyway, you've been so sneaky!"

"Sneaky?" I asked when she pulled up my shirt. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"OMG you really are a boy! Just like Bou!" she said and giggled wickedly.

She looked at me with sparkling eyes and straddled me. She pulled my shirt off, still giggling, and started to touch me. I panicked below her but she was stronger than me. How in hell could a girl be stronger than me? If somebody didn't come I'd be raped! The door opened, hallelujah!

"Kisame! Help me out here!" Kisame looked at me. Then at Konan. Then he grinned evil.

"Want some help Konan?" he asked and stepped closer. I just starred at him as he unzipped my pants. Konan pressed her lips at mine. Somebody, anybody, help!

But nobody came.

-- -- --

referring to Bou from An café

Reviews are good, response are great! I hope you liked it –bows-

Next chapter: Gaara turns into a nicer guy! (maybe…sort of…)


	7. One step closer

It's been like and eternity since last time, but here a new chapter of "Sick of it" is presented to you!^^

---

Gaara smacked his book closed. He was depressed. Deeply depressed. His plan of using Deidara to make his brother miserable had not worked out the way he had planned. It was supposed to just be a small revenge for a few days, but things turned out differently. He had started to fall in love with the blonde. He never ever thought that he could ever have any kinds of homosexual emotions. He just wasn't the type that had such feelings, if any feelings at all. He also knew the only reason Deidara hadn't thrown him out with the garbage yet was because of fear. And not even afraid he himself might get hurt, but of possible damaged to Sasori. Yes, Gaara sure felt depressed.

He walked down the corridor, passing classroom after classroom, ignoring the shouts of classmates and other students that wanted to greet him or talk. He wanted to be alone. The only place in a school you can be alone is either in a distant corner of the school… or the bathrooms. With a sigh he opened the door to the bathroom.

"Deidara?"

---

Sasori glanced at Deidara's empty seat for the 100th time, even if he by now knew the blonde wasn't present. This "letting-go-or-at-least-wait-for-better-timing" was way harder than he had thought. He couldn't get the guy of his head, no matter how he tried! Since he decided yesterday he thought more about him than ever. What did he really like about him? He had been playing wicked, sick drag queen games on him from the start, breaking his heart over and over again, though, that he himself were guiltier for that than Dei. He took another glance towards the empty seat. Damn it was hard to keep his eyes away! And he didn't even wanted to imagine how it'd be like when Deidara actually was present.

---

Gaara took a few steps forward, getting more worried the closer he got. The floor was sticky, covered by a mixture of water, blood and something Gaara wasn't sure of. It smelled worse than it used to in a public bathroom, and he had a really, really bad feeling about this.

"Deidara?" he repeated.

Then Deidara looked up. His eyes were red and swollen of crying, his entire body trembling, which he tried to cover by holding his own elbows in a tight grip. He looked horrified and tried to shove himself further away from Gaara but where stopped by the wall he were leaning against. Gaara wasn't sure of how to act, but he decided that he needed to get Dei out of here.

"I wont hurt you, promise." He said as calmly he could, slowly stepping closer, inch by inch, in order not to scare him more. He kneeled down about a half meter from him and reached out a hand.

"You can't stay here. Come on, let's get go."

Deidara's freighted eyes flinched to the sides until he, still shivering more than normal, took a hold of Gaara's hand and pressed it.

"G-g-gaara…" he stuttered.

"Yes?" Gaara replied as he carefully got a hold of the blonde and helped him onto his feet.

"I…I don't feel well…" he whispered and tears gather in his eyes before he lost his consciousness.

-----------------

Gaara was furious. No, not just furious, beyond the measures of furious. He just didn't found an appropriate word for his feelings. He sat next to Deidara's bed in a hospital room. After finding Deidara and seeing him collapse he had done all he could and gotten him to the hospital as quickly as he could.

Raped.

The doctor's words still echoes through his head.

Raped.

And really violently too, the doctor had told him.

Raped.

And he knew whom to hold responsible.

Sasori. Sasori and his fucked up wicked buddies. Although not Sasori himself, he couldn't think of that as a possibility. Sasori probably didn't even know about this. Maybe he should call him, tell him about the blonde's current situation. No, he shouldn't. This was all Sasori's fault. If he hadn't believed that Deidara were a girl, he wouldn't had gotten accused for being gay, and absolutely not gotten raped on the dirty floor in a school toilet.

But somewhere deep down Gaara knew it wasn't his brothers fault. It was just easier to blame him then blaming "the one who did this". He sighed and slipped his hand into his pocket, pulling out his cell phone. Maybe his brother deserved to know what had happened. And Gaara wouldn't be gentle when telling him.

------------------

Deidara whined as he woke up. It hurt everywhere, the tiniest movement sent strikes of pain through his limps causing him pain. He slowly opened his eyes only to swiftly closing them again. Flashbacks flew through his mind as he kept his eyes shut. Bathroom. Konan. Kisame. Pain. Lots of pain. Gaara. Then a major blank. He opened his eyes again. The sun was settling outside the window, painting the room's white walls orange. He glanced the other way and his heart skipped a beat. The two siblings sat there starring down on the floor.

Deidara whispered a weak "hi" causing both of them startle and focus on him.

"How are you?" Gaara immediately asked.

"Been better." Deidara answered honestly and gave a faint smile.

"Damn you, this is no time to joke around! Do you know how scared I was when I found you? I almost crapped my pants!"

"I bet you did." Deidara replied in a joyful tone.

Sasori still hadn't said anything. His heart had almost stopped when Gaara had told him about Deidara on the phone. He could count the very limited number of breaths he had taken while rushing to the hospital as fast as he possibly could. When he had seen Deidara and gotten the doctors report he had became calm enough to react. His reaction had been a desperate, helpless cry. He hadn't known. He hadn't been there and protected him. He hadn't found him and helped him. He hated himself for being so helpless. But Gaara had more or less saved his life. That probably made Gaara more sufficient to be Deidara's boyfriend, right?

Sasori swallowed a sob. He were on the verge of tears, and seeing how well the two of them got along right now made his already broken heart ache even more. A few tears found the way down his cheeks, and ran there slowly as Gaara and Deidara talked next to him.

It would never be him and Deidara. He understood that now. They were never meant to be.

Suddenly he heard Deidara asking Gaara to leave for a moment. Gaara looked confused for a moment, then rose and walked out without a word.

"Sasori…" Deidara whispered.

Sasori looked at him. He didn't even try to cover his tears.

"Sasori, I'm so, so sorry…" he said with tears in his eyes. "I have been so mean to you and-"

"No. It's my fault. I haven't even consider your feelings once when I started doing this and that to you. I am the one begging for forgiveness."

"You've been nothing but good to me all along. You shouldn't blame yourself for this." Deidara whispered.

"But it IS my fault!" Sasori said and rose rapidly, crying like never before. "Damn! I thought you'd be out of trouble now when we're trough, but I was so wrong! And I wasn't even there to protect you! If I only had been there this would never had happen! I…I…fuck it…"

Deidara kept quiet. The only sound breaking the silence were Sasoris sobs. After maybe two minutes Deidara said as steadily he could:

"Are…are through?"

His voice failed on him, and sounded very instable and raspy. Sasori looked at him.

"Dei…You know we are. I mean, I still love you. And it's killing me. I want to be yours, you know that. But it's obvious that I've been replaced by my brother and that's a fact I can't deny. I…I can't be selfish about this. You deserve to be happy."

Thereon fell a complete silence for a long while. Then Deidara heaved himself into a upright sitting position and reached out a hand towards Sasori.

"I'm only happy if I'm with you."

Sasori felt his heart stop.

"Please, stay by me. Don't leave my side. Please. Please, don't cause me pain." He stretched his arm even further.

"Are you playing with me again?"

Sasori gave a sob and then took Deidara's hand in his. He approached the bed and sat down on the edge of it. He placed his other hand on Deidara's cheek and sobbed loudly again.

"You've never told me that you love me…" Dei whispered.

Sasori's starred at Deidara with widen eyes, filled with fear and sorrow.

"I thought you knew that…"

"I thought I did."

"I thought so too…But then you started to…_do things _with my brother and-"

"I'm holding no feeling of love to Gaara. It's you. Always been you. The only reason I didn't came to you when I realized that was the fact I was threaten by Gaara. He would hurt you if I didn't do what he told me. But I guess no more damage can be done to me now. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm so sorry…" he said with a shaky voice. Then the last pieces of the puzzle came and solved everything for Sasori. He started to cry again and stroke his thumb across Deidara's cheek. He loved him so, so much.

He entwined his and the blonde's fingers. His hand found his way back to Deidara's neck and gently he pulled him near and closed the distance between them. Carefully his lips were pressed against Deidara's. He was forcefully pulled close by Deidara wrapping his arms around him, burying his face into his shoulder and crying tears of relief and happiness.

This felt like the perfect ending on a way too long hide-and-seek game.

- - -

Done^^

I'm not finished yet if you think so!

God knows when I'll update next time __''


	8. Numb

Gaara sat in the corridor right outside Deidaras' room, silently thinking things over. The only thing there to disturb his thought was the clapper of shoes against the plastic floor the few times someone went by. He wondered what was going on behind the door. He had heard his brother raising his voice one or twice, but it had been quiet for a while now. He didn't feel like stepping inside to check on them either, since he might stumble into a scene he'd rather not have mental scars of the rest of his life.

He had done the right choice, he was sure of it. Those two deserved each other, and somehow he felt some relief to be finished with all this, meaning the drama of fighting about a person with a sibling. Doing that had torn them more apart then anything earlier, for example when Sasori had join Akatsuki, leaving himself out completely. Like a sect or something and no outsiders where allowed to even speak with the members in public places. He pondered over how angry his brother would be when they where alone, talking this through. He didn't dislike his brother, not really, they had just drifted away from each other and then Akatsuki was founded and shit happened. He wasn't sure where in their history they started to do fucked-up things to one another. He regretted it badly, and guilt was hovering over him. 

The door creaked as it opened, making Gaara look up, at his brother. Sasori said "Bye" to the person in the room and closed the door behind him. He leaned against it, taking a deep breath and then looking straight into Gaara's eyes.

"I'll need your help."  
Gaara just stared at him. Sasori asking **him **for help? That had _never _happened before, Gaara was 100 percent sure of it.

"With what?" he replied, after a few seconds. He could tell the look upon his face was filled of suspiciousness.  
"I won't let this pass. I demand vengeance." The older brother said with eyes dark as death itself.  
"Hey, I'm sorry about all this, is that's what you mean!" Gaara protested, lifting his arms in a defending posture.  
"No, it's not what I mean. Come, he might hear" Sasori continued, jearking his head at Deidara's door, before pulling Gaara onto his feet and dragging him down the hallway.

"The rapists. They are going to be punished so hard they don't even know what hit them, no, actually, they'll know _exactly _what hit them." He gritted his teeth.  
A smile consisting of a mixture of sadism and ire was now pasted in Gaara's face.  
"I'm with you, _brother_." He said, placing a hand on Sasori's shoulder.

Sasori just smiled back, in an identical way Gaara had.

"I know who did it." Sasori said when they sat at their kitchen table, stirring the coffee he was holding with a teaspoon. By his words Gaara swallowed a way too big sip of his own coffee, and as he was coughing his brother continued.  
"Deidara told me." An expression of great pain swept across his face.

"Akatsuki." Gaara whispered. Talk about backstabbing. Sasori simply nodded.  
"I can't believe it. What the fuck is their reason for do something like this?"  
"Seriously Sasori, they are criminals! They are beating the shit out of people; I can't see why you are surprised."

"I never knew they did _this _sort of things. I feel sick just thinking about it."  
"Glad you realised it before doing something you'd regret." Gaara stated, emotionless.  
"I'll do something now I probably should regret, but I won't."  
"The payback? What do you have in mind?"  
"I guess chopping their heads of would look bad in court, so we'll have to do something more discreet. Like ruin their lives completely."  
"All of them?"  
"No, just the guilty ones. Konan, Kisame. Nagato." Sasori closed his eyes in pain. He felt horrible thinking about how he was about to hurt his, now, ex friends. But what they had done he couldn't ignore.  
"They were three?" Gaara said, eyes widen slightly.  
"No, just two of them did the actual crime. But Nagato spilled it to them."  
"But if we're about to bring Konan down, you know we'll be facing Nagato as an enemy as well."  
"I know." Nagato had been Sasori's closest friend ever since he joined Akatsuki, and some time even before that. It was hard on him. Really hard. "You would think we might get Itachi on our backs too, but he's not really caring."  
"He's sorta emotionless, isn't he?" Gaara took a new sip of coffee. He, compared to his brother, was only looking forward kicking some ass. No pain on his conscience whatsoever.  
"Yeah. Anyways, back to business." Sasori forced his feelings away, by focusing on Deidara. He deserved his revenge.  
"So, Konan first. I don't hit girls, not even such bastard."  
"I know exactly what to do with Konan. We're swapping her birth control pills."  
"Is that it? What good will that do?"  
"Think, idiot. She and Nagato is having sex more than you have eyeliner. And trust me, without birth control pills she'd be pregnant ages ago, Nagato isn't a…safe sex type. Don't ask, I just know." He said rapidly when Gaara showed devilish jeer. "A teenage pregnancy screw your life up, literary."  
"Suddenly I l-o-v-e this plan. Ha! She so deserves it. Baby or abortion, both are terrible in our age." Sasori just nodded, hiding his expression by drinking some more of his coffee. He hated coffee.

"And for Kisame…?" Gaara said as Sasori didn't continue.  
"Something artistic." Fury returned to Sasori's eyes.

"No, something violent. Like castration."  
"Gaara…"  
"You didn't find him. He was fixed up when you met with him." His expression was the most murderous Sasori hade ever seen, and Sasori had seen many crazy faces. 

So…I thought I was done with this story… heh.  
This one is dedicated, like I told you~ :)


	9. Play the fool again

**Chapter 9**

Deidara walked, talked and acted like ha had done before the incident when he finally was allowed to leave the hospital. Before means before he got involved with akatsuki, his pride was back and his confidence had rose from the floor up to, well, not the roof but to the doorknobs at least. He rejected the very thought of doing drag again, which was very understandable, and that made his choice of rejecting Sasori's request even harder than you might have thought.

"No fucking way in the terms of hell or heaven." He said with such determination Sasori flinched at his choice of words. Gaara sighed and buried his head in his hand. They sat in the brothers' kitchen and discussed the plot that would revenge the blonde, a revenge Deidara wasn't too please to hear about.

"I don't feel like hunting them down, I don't want to get involved with them at all, which, I must add, I never wanted from the very beginning. Shit happened, but I don't need justice."

"This is not all about you!" Gaara interrupted, "but about to put our minds at ease as well!"  
"How can this NOT be about my wishes?" Deidara countered, and glowered at the redhead.  
"Dei," Sasori interposed with his sweetest voice, before any of them lost their temper, "I understand how you feel, but you must let us do this. I couldn't live through something like this again." Deidara looked at him for a brief moment, before slumping against him and mumbled something Gaara didn't caught into his boyfriends' neck. Sasori pulled his love closer and kissed his hair, before whispering something back and Deidara heaved himself into an upright position.

"But do you really need me for all this? I can't say I feel like returning to the days as the schools' drag queen."

"You don't have to!"  
"Yes he does! Or would YOU like to infiltrate Konan?"  
"God no! But there are other ways-"  
"No, there isn't! Dei, it's just for a short while, then never again." Sasori said comforting and entwined his fingers with Deidaras'. Gaara didn't even felt the smallest of envy against the open affection, which you could have expected to be there. He was simply all fired up about the revenge, and just accepted the so-called "loss" without second thoughts. He supposed the feelings for Deidara didn't have a foundation, and had just been there to annoy his brother. It wouldn't be the first time.

"Fine. But just as long as it takes to complete all this, not another second!" Deidara concluded. It was all the brothers needed and swiftly agreed to the suggested deal. Starting tomorrow they'd send Akatsuki to hell.

0-0-0

Deidara tried not to get flashbacks as he, dressed in more or less unisex clothes, but with a ribbon in his hair, entered the girls' changing room. The vibe he got from it was the same as the ones in the schools bathroom, and it was rather creepy. He didn't have the nerve to join the girls to PE, god, he wasn't such a perv (he hoped) so instead he had sneaked in while they were inside the hall. By the sound of it they were playing basket or soccer, but it wasn't important. Nervously he headed for Konans' bag, and started to rumble through it in the search for the pills. He soon found them and held them up in triumph, when the door slid open and Ino entered. Surprised she froze and ogled at Deidara, who currently was sweating a lot while holding the little box above his head like a trophy. She looked suspiciously at him and crossed her arms before pointing at the box.

"What's that?" she demanded to know. Deidara, who blushed like the girl he claimed to be would have, he mumbled the truth.

""Konans' birth control pills."  
"Konans'? And why do you have her pills my I ask?"  
"I…ohm…I ran out of them, so she said I could…"

"Brother, I highly doubt YOU would run out of such pills. Two, I know you're currently dating my ex, who clearly is a guy and not in need for such things. And above all, get out of here. Now. And give me those."[A/N] Deidara couldn't find any excuse and handed the box to his sister, while dying of the shame.

"Honestly, sometimes I wonder why people put any faith in you at all." She sighed, opened the box and emptied it elegantly into her own bag, before fishing up a little purple case and poured identical looking objects into the box before placing it in Konans' bag. Deidara was just stunned and his gaze travelled between Ino and the bag until the blonde woman spoke up again.  
"Gaara asked me to help them out." She said "I guess he didn't think you'd be able to pull it off, and you can laugh your sorry ass off it was me and not someone else who walked in on you. Now Buzz Off." Deidara cursed under his breath as he turned to walk away when Ino shouted to get his attention.  
"Tell Gaara I said hello. He is kinda cute."  
Deidara shrugged at the very thought but nodded and left the room, feeling so utterly humiliated that he couldn't manage to calm down for at least another hour.

0-0-0

"Oh really, she said that?" Gaara snickered as Deidara delivered his embarrassing story about his mission to them.  
"Why didn't you tell me about adding her into the plans?" Sasori said, obviously disturbed.  
"Since you would've rejected them because of personal reasons. I told you from the beginning we didn't need Deidara to pull the masquerade anymore. Then again; you couldn't exactly ask your ex for a favor, can you? I bet neither of you even considered asking her."  
Sasori hissed at Gaara, while Deidara simply shook his head. He hadn't even realized they had a girl on their side, even less his own sister. How did Gaara come up with such a brilliant plot? The blonde felt a bit guilty for not listening to Gaara sooner.  
"So, anyways, that'll probably settle the score with Konan. Now the rest is up to Pein."  
"Which takes us to Kisame." Sasori added. A very cold shiver ran down Deidara's spine.

"I still vote for castration. Preferably with a teaspoon as tool."  
"I keep telling you, it'll have to be unforgettable."

"I wouldn't forget my own castration, I can promise you that."  
"Gaara." Sasori warned him. His brother made a grumpy face and crossed his arms.  
The punishment for Kisame was a bitch figuring out. He didn't have any emotional attachment that they knew of, neither was he mentally nor physically weak, which made him rather untouchable. Gaara kept suggest different kinds of violent things you could do, but Sasori wanted something more…artistic. Something bigger. That would freak him out. After an hour or so Deidara spoke up.  
"I think I know one thing we could do. It won't hurt him really, but he will remember it and it'd freak most people out."  
"Really? What?"  
"There is this chemical called methylene blue.[A/N]"  
"Ah! I know of that one, sneaky little thing that one! I approve." Gaara snickered.  
With wrinkled eyebrows Sasori mumbled, "For us that aren't science freaks?"

"It colors your blood blue. Literary."  
"Blue?"  
"You add it into water, or something, drink it, and woho, your blood is blue for a few days. This includes your other body liquids of course."  
"Seriously? So I'd just wake up the next morning with like, blue blood vessels and like, piss blue?"  
Deidara nodded quietly, while waiting for Sasori's response.  
"Sounds pretty fucking artistic."

0-0-0

Ino checked her watch for the third time in two minutes. He was late. Should she feel guilty for doing this? Was it wrong? It probably wasn't since she could brush it off her mind so easily. They deserved it, she concluded and looked at her clock again. Heavy footsteps interrupted her action, and she lowered her arm again.  
"You're late." She snorted and crossed her arms "I hate waiting."  
"You and Sasori got something in common then." The man said as he walked up to her, and flashed all his teeth in a grin. "Shall we?"  
"Please, don't talk about that ass." She said and shook her head, before being pulled into an embrace.  
"Fair enough, baby." He said and kissed her.  
"Kisame, _please_." 

0-0-0

A/N: I had totally forgotten that they were siblings until I accidently reread your reviews and EternallyDrowning :s review reminded me. Did I mention I love you reviewing people? I really do.  
A/N 2: Methylene blue does exist. It is deadly if the doze is too big, so don't use it at home!

I am once again in the need of a beta. If you'd want previews of this and my other stories in exchange for correcting my grammar, please mail me: idizen_


	10. Backside story

**Song I listened to while writing this: Your love is my drug by Ke$ha and Numbero Uno by matze Knop (and Love the Way lie)… Nice mix, right?**

**Chapter 10**

o-o-o-o-o

Ino wasn't the type of sister you'd wish as Christmas present from Santa. With that said, she wasn't the kind you got if you were naughty. She had her own sense of justice, and only played according to her own rules and only to please her own interests. She could help the people she cared about, if it benefitted her. She didn't care much about her brother, and didn't plan to get to know him better either. But when her brother had stolen her boyfriend away, she had felt utterly humiliated. She had been praying to God to see him dead. 

o-o-o-o-o

Kisame grinned at the blonde female, who played with the straw in her soda with her perfectly manicured fingers. He still tried to understand that he was currently on a real, actual date with this person, and to understand how she could drive him so crazy.

Kisame wasn't a fan of humans. He despised them, hated their ignorance and lack of intelligence. So sick. So fucking sick of the world was he indeed.

It all had begun when the siblings had transferred. When Sasori came dragging along with the new member he didn't even give "her" a second glance. But Akatsuki was a part of his life, so he didn't treat her any different, for example when Sasori's brother tried to hit on her, he joined them and taught him a lesson. It was later that very same day, he first saw his sister. In belief she was Deidara, he grabbed her shoulder roughly and told her the daily meeting was about to start. Ino had given him a clear hit with her fist and broken his nose in the blow. Kisame had never broken a single bone before, and the pain was new, and surprisingly thrilling.

"Call me machosist," he had thought through the bleeding, "but I just fell in love."

When the misunderstanding had been cleared out, Ino had, because of feelings of guilt, followed him to the nurse office. It was then Kisame found out about Deidara's little masquerade, which pissed him off. He didn't like to be fooled. A few days went by, with Kisame for the first time in his life being friendly to a woman. He greeted Ino, and time to time he skipped out hanging with the Akatsuki to spend some time with the blonde, of course without the others knowing that he was seeing her. The crash came when Ino told him about her and Sasori. He had never hated so hard. The hatred consumed him to the fullest, ate him from inside and drew the world in black and blood. His previous hate for the humans in the world was reduced to a nothingness, all his mental power was triggered to a depthless need to hurt, kill and rip Sasori's head off. If Pein hadn't interfered with some reason, he would've made his visions real. Pein was the only one Kisame actually held a tad of respect for. So, while feeding his hatred with physical pain caused by himself, he waited. His patience soon carried fruit, when Pein told him about Sasori and Deidara and their relationship. It was confirmed by Ino, who cried her heart out in front of Kisame, who happily, but rather clumsily, consoled her. Kisame now saw his chance to strike. 

He knew all about Konan's obsession, and after gladly spilling Deidara's "secret", he followed her when she went to confront him. The rape was simply a spur of the moment, but it had more effect than he had thought. Sasori had finally gotten his punishment. When he left the beaten and bloody boy on the bathroom floor he walked straight to Ino and asked her out for a date. To his joy and surprise she agreed, and time and location was determined. His joy only last a few hours, 'cause Ino called and canceled the meeting, because her brother had been sent to hospital.

Kisame felt the panic taking over his head. Fuck! How could he possibly have forgotten something so important? Their relationship as siblings were the reason he fell for the bloody woman to begin with, how the hell could he forget! His breathing was heavy, he felt feeble and nauseated. Ino couldn't find out. If she did it'd all be over. His sins and his pain, his hatred and his struggle would go wasted, all for nothing! He had been fooled by his hatred, fooled by his search for revenge, fooled to play his own happiness out of his hands! Deidara would never tell her, he knew that. Neither would Konan. If Deidara told Sasori, or Sasori's brother who apparently had gotten quiet involved with the blonde male lately, Ino might find out eventually. But the blonde was probably too frighten to tell them, and even more importantly, for all Kisame knew, Deidara and Sasori had been treating each other like shit lately (see previous chapters). He probably had nothing to worry about. A few days after the cancelled date Ino called him, and asked if he still wanted the date that never happened. With a grin tattooed across his face he accepted the offer.

o-o-o-o-o

"I'm sorry I had to skip out last time." Ino said, breaking Kisame's trail of thoughts. He shook his head.

"Your brother was almost dead I heard, I don't hold no grudge."  
"I'm glad to hear that."She leaned forward and whispered as she added "Did you know he was raped? If I'd find out who did that, his life would be a living hell, I'd make sure of it!"  
Kisame felt how his heart sunk and said that he was sure she would. When she tried to pursue the subject further he excused himself and went to the bathroom. He couldn't blow his cover, not now! Shit, he needed to calm down. He was in love; he was just a guy in love with a girl. A girl whose brother he raped a few days ago. But it was because of her! If she hadn't dated Sasori, he wouldn't have had his first heart break and none of this shit would have happened! He wished he could make it undone. The feeling of hate hadn't shown their ugly face for some time now, and Kisame didn't want them back. The feelings for the female had replaced his hate, he had realized that. He had promised himself to never be consumed by his dark side again, if only he could have her. She had driven him crazy, in a very bad, bad, way. At the same she could save him, he knew that. He loved her. He loved her too much for his own good. Kisame drenched his face with water before going back out the café and was greeted with the smile of a goddess. She was perfect.

"Took you long enough." She said with a laugh hiding in her throat.  
"Sorry. What a lousy guy I am, being late and then running off. I don't know how to make this up to you." He replied and swallowed some of his lukewarm coffee. It tasted funny.  
"I think I'll come up with something." She said and made eddy currents in the remains of her coke. "Now finish that, my legs are starting to feel numb."

o-o-o-o-o

They walked in a park, Kisame didn't know the name of it, and honestly, he didn't care the slightest about it. He had a major stomach ache, and had to use all his strength to hide it. It was probably cause of his guilt and nerves. The conversation between him and Ino got affected by it though, so he shortly suggested that they'd sit down for a while. Ino checked her watch before nodding. He sat down, and just the second after the pain from his stomach took over his body and he gasped for air. He started to cramp and shake like a mad man, his body completely out of his control. What was going on? Ino just looked at him with despise in her eyes before kneeling down next to him.

"I know you what you did to my brother. You're sick. I can't even stand to look at you." She said disgusted, kicked him in the balls with her heels and walked off. Kisame cramped, both of the drug and her kick, as he saw her leave. He couldn't speak, but if he could he would've begged for her forgiveness. Maybe she would've listened, and maybe, just maybe, she would've understood. He felt neither angry nor betrayed. Not even the pain reached him right now. He just felt empty. For the first time in his life, tears raced down his cheeks.

o-o-o-o-o

When you find out your brother had been beaten up, raped and hospitalized, you'd go for any extents to punish the guilty. I guess, in the end, Ino was exactly the sister you wanted Santa to give you.

o-o-o-o-o

**Hey people! Look, there was a backdrop story lurking here all the time! What do you think of it? Is Kisame still a crazy shit of shit? Or does he get your sympathy? I still haven't decided the next chapters outcome, but I get the feeling we're approaching an end to this. Just to clear things up: Ino drugged Kisame, and obviously it wasn't the drug Sasori and the others planned to use. She decided to make a move of her own.  
Any Beta out there? Mail me: Idizen_  
Love, narutard_Kiba**


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